Gioconda A. Chowdry

"Be positive, your child needs you now." Our mother said this upon the death of her son's wife at a young age from a dreadful disease. It is easy to dismiss wisdom as platitudinous in these increasingly cynical times. But by doing so, we deny ourselves not only that wisdom of a previous generation, but also the kindness and love that is communicated by people who care for us the most.

Our mother, Gioconda A. Chowdry, was of that previous generation born in hardship with precious little opportunity to eke out a better life. She had no choice but to remain "positive" at the age of seven years when the Wehrmacht broke into her house in Axis controlled Italy, searching for Resistance fighters. She undoubtedly remained "positive" when she was sent away at the age of 13 years to work for a wealthy family in Milan when her own parents were too poor to care for her and her four sisters. She likewise, remained "positive" when she left Italy to resettle in London at the conclusion of a war that recast Europe and the expectations of so many Europeans who became its refugees. Our mother lived through those grim times and so, was perhaps best situated to offer uplifting solace to those who were downcast, sad or depressed. To be "positive" was not a platitude her; it was her guiding light.

In 1957, she fell in love with and married a debonair and exotic-looking man from the Indian subcontinent who she bumped into on a platform in the London Tube. Quite an undertaking at a time when different cultures, much less different ethnicities did not meld. Her mother disapproved, but quickly recanted when she understood that our mother's decision was based on the content of her husband's character and not the color of his skin. She had two children, Frank and Sara; and tried for but was denied a third. We are sure she remained "positive" when her doctor broke the news.

She came to the United States in 1968 with her husband and two children. She left her family in London and moved to Washington DC, then Philadelphia, then Connecticut and finally New Hampshire in hopes of finding a better life. Each and every time she resettled, she went about the business of making a home for her family, a task made easier by a woman who remained "positive." In time, being "positive" inevitably lead her on to have sheer fun when she became tipsy at one of the many parties she hosted at our childhood home in Connecticut, or when she frequently (and without any warning whatsoever) seized the microphone on a nightclub stage to belt out a song; although candidly, we are relieved she pursued motherhood as her primary vocation because it is certain she had no future as a soprano or alto. She did those same things in New Hampshire after her children left to pursue their own lives in different places. In her way of thinking, we are confident that being "positive" was interchangeable with having fun and both were quite contagious when our mother was around.

Advanced age led to relocation and dislocation. There was something not quite right to her when she moved on to so-called independent living, then assisted living and finally skilled care. Throughout however, our mother both remained and cautioned others to be, "positive."

Mrs. Chowdry was born on March 2, 1932 in a unique and somewhat un-Italian region of Northern Italy known for its Friulian dialect and its mouth-watering cuisine. She was one of the five daughters of Peter and Vittoria Adobatti. both long deceased. Two of her sisters, Gloria and Anna, predeceased her. Her remaining sisters, Lucilla and Alda reside in London. Her nieces Rita, Angela, Francesca and Lisa and their husbands and respective children reside in or close to London. Her husband, Kenneth N. Chowdry, passed in 2011 and on his side of our family, she leaves two nephews Percy and Boman of Mumbai. Her daughter and son-in-law Sara and Christopher Szechenyi are of York, Maine. Her son Frank Chowdry, resides in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. She has one granddaughter, Andra, now of Berlin, Germany. She was predeceased by her daughter-in-law, Louise Albert Chowdry, in 2008. A Mass of the Roman Catholic Church will be said at 1 p.m. on June 1, 2022 at St. Christopher's, 4 Barrel Lane, York, Maine, where our mother will be eulogized and remembered.

Good counsel, mistakenly dismissed as platitudinous, is often born in the wisdom of the ages. When understood in this way, being "positive" uplifts us and makes us a kinder people. Our mother knew that better than most.